Ramble Bramble.
Published by ms.parker on Wednesday, March 03, 2010Just because I don't cry doesn't mean I don't hurt.
Time and again, I have witnessed how during your worst ruts, your friends are nowhere to be seen. All that is left with you is your stupid belief that anybody else ever gives a shit. What did I know, that the losers that you always stick up for never actually give a flying fuck.
Expectation. God knows, I have stopped expecting. People do what they do because they are happy that way. Who are we to expect anything else? So what if my granny is seriously ill and on her deathbed? She's *my* grand mum. I will cry for her, not anybody else. I will pray for her, and I will be sad.
The last time I cried in front of somebody else was when I was 13. It was my mum. I haven't let anyone else watch me shed a tear since then. Not mom, not my best friends, nobody. I am going to keep that up and smile that ridiculously fake smile of mine, as usual.
Thank you for blogs. Atleast I don't have to pretend that I am happy, over here. Whoever is reading this? Please do not leave me your sympathies and tell me it's all going to get better. Because, i know it will. I just need to sulk right now, and I totally deserve that. So just, please, just pray in your hearts for my Dadi because I cannot imagine life without her. I cannot imagine going back to my gaaon, and not finding her there, making methi ke laddu. Yeah I don't know what's with that. For as long as I can remember, the first thing she would do when we all reach there is start with those laddus.
You may be 95, Dadi, but you have to be there for my wedding just like you wanted. So just get better already.
This feels good. There is no better friend to you than yourself. Writing a blog to yourself? Totally helps, I tell you. Thank you for reading, btw. I'm not funny or sarcastic, and neither do I play around with words to make them sound interesting. I am just, well, me. And I love it.
Leaving you with a quote by Dr. Seuss.
Time and again, I have witnessed how during your worst ruts, your friends are nowhere to be seen. All that is left with you is your stupid belief that anybody else ever gives a shit. What did I know, that the losers that you always stick up for never actually give a flying fuck.
Expectation. God knows, I have stopped expecting. People do what they do because they are happy that way. Who are we to expect anything else? So what if my granny is seriously ill and on her deathbed? She's *my* grand mum. I will cry for her, not anybody else. I will pray for her, and I will be sad.
The last time I cried in front of somebody else was when I was 13. It was my mum. I haven't let anyone else watch me shed a tear since then. Not mom, not my best friends, nobody. I am going to keep that up and smile that ridiculously fake smile of mine, as usual.
Thank you for blogs. Atleast I don't have to pretend that I am happy, over here. Whoever is reading this? Please do not leave me your sympathies and tell me it's all going to get better. Because, i know it will. I just need to sulk right now, and I totally deserve that. So just, please, just pray in your hearts for my Dadi because I cannot imagine life without her. I cannot imagine going back to my gaaon, and not finding her there, making methi ke laddu. Yeah I don't know what's with that. For as long as I can remember, the first thing she would do when we all reach there is start with those laddus.
You may be 95, Dadi, but you have to be there for my wedding just like you wanted. So just get better already.
This feels good. There is no better friend to you than yourself. Writing a blog to yourself? Totally helps, I tell you. Thank you for reading, btw. I'm not funny or sarcastic, and neither do I play around with words to make them sound interesting. I am just, well, me. And I love it.
Leaving you with a quote by Dr. Seuss.
Today you are You, that is Truer than True,
There is noone alive, who is Youer than You.
2 sweet comments:
=]
You're so much stronger than me! Seriously! Hats off!
We all feel lonely at some point of our lives , and I thought , i was the only one.
I will pray for our Dadi.
=]
looks like i've been neglecting my reading list :(
but still, N, one thing i've learned from my life is that when things are hard, having someone who understands may feel nice, and the advice they give may even help, but no one can give you what your lonely meditation can. and really, you need that more than you need friends. we all do. people come and go, but you will always be yourself.
i wish you strength and happiness.
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