Soo, my last day at work is officially gonna come to an end in approximately one hour and 20 minutes. I really have nothing to do right now, except feel the glory of..umm freedom? of a whole week off, with nothing to do except shop shop shop, closing in on me. I can already feel it. Manama, gear up for nobia's crazy out of this world shopping spree!

Such a beautiful day. Not coz its my last day of work [well yeah that's part of it. a three quarters of it infact] but yeah, it feels goood. I'm counting the number of highlighter thingies on my desk right now for some reason. They're so colorful :D

Its so difficult to concentrate on what I'm writing with Jason Mraz on loud volume.

"Nothing's gonna stop me but divine intervention, I reckon its again my turn..to win some or learn some.."

I wanna watch this movie called 'The Time Traveler's Wife'. Hasn't come out here yet. But I can't wait, I really wanna watch it. The teaser looks nice! Another thing i can't wait for? Graduation.
But yeah like THAT's gonna happen anytime soon. Sigh. Another year to go!

"Well open up your eyes and see like me, open up your plans and damn you're free."

Another 20 and something days and it's my birthday. ONCE AGAIN. Sigh. I don't like them. I mean I used to, but they're not fun anymore. Especially when it reminds you that you need to buck up and be responsible, being an adult and yada yaddi coz you're friggn not a teenager anymore.
So how does that feel? a thwack on your face and your ears keep ringing 'twenty..twenty one..twenty two..'

I miss being 17. I know i've already said that a million zillion gazillion , um a large number of times, but I can't help it. It was the best year of my life. There were no heartbreaks, no sadness, no unwanted cliche'd drama. Just fun and frolicky nobia.

I miss that. All you seventeeners, rija, urrfa and whoever is reading this, I totally envy you. And Rija this post is definitely dedicated to you. =>

"It's your godforsaken right to be loved, loved, loved."

You're so right Jason Mraz. I totally entirely, um wholefully agree with you. Everyone has a right to be loved!

You there, you li'l 7 year old wearing rags for clothes and balancing an oversized tray of chaay ke glasses. And you, you 70 something old person living off the mercy of an old age home coz your children are jackasses with no heart.

You, li'l random newborn who's parents left you in a bin coz they just realized they could do without you, or who's daddy left your mommy after satisfying their hormonal urges. You, who's children are stubborn and spoilt and you, who's parents are too occupied to even notice your tear-soaked pillow.

You, who's oh-so depressed with life and who thinks there's nothing worth living for anymore, and you, who is sad that noone believes that a boogie monster is hiding under your bed. Cheer up, sweetheart, that green monster isn't going to get to you, ever. Promise.

"There's no need to complicate, our time is short, this is our fate.."

And you, reading my blog. Consider yourself loved. Everybody deserves a hug. Good, bad, who's the judge here?
Not me.

"So I won't hesitate, no more, no more..It cannot wait..

I'm yours.

"

I have made a vow to myself to never be depressed again. Its stupid and lame, being depressed all the time. I should be happy more often. or maybe ALL the time.and take everything on a positive note uknw?

My phupa passed away this morning. Inna lillahi wa inna illayhi raji'un. Its sad, but atleast he's at a better place. He was paralyzed for a week and now he'll suffer no more. They say its a good thing, a sort of a blessing to die in Ramzan. May Allah grant him jannat. Everyones sad, but phupa was old, it was his time and thats how much God wanted him to live.
And as the dua goes, " We are from God, and unto him is our return".

He was a great person. A sailor back in his youth, he travelled all round the world and spoke around 15 languages including some native african ones =P He was amazing, always full of joy and that's what he was well known for. I'll miss you phupa!

Soo, anyway. I am not sad. I wont be. I am not happy that he's no longer here, but I'm okay, really. 

I was listening to an old song today, save tonight by eagle eye cherry. Also the OST of A lot like love. Sigh, brought back fond memories. 

=)  Later

Nope, don't have those anymore! I'm just a random girl with random thoughts who doesn't care about anything at the moment.

I wish i knew how to get high lol. But who am i kidding, I'm too coward for that. :( Maybe i should just make sherbat and put barrels of sugar in it and get high :P

Dr Koller my boss is offering me a permanent job at CPISP :O. Seriously :D But after graduating ofcourse :( wish i could just skip college and work instead!

Ahhh it feels soo goodddd to just stop expecting anything! Nothing can ever hurt you if you don't expect anything. I wanna dance to Sexy Bitch by David Guetta ft Akon :P I have officially gone bonkers.

But shhh. I like it coz it doesn't hurt :)

Half a pound of tuppenny rice
Half a pound of treacle
Mix it up and make it nice
Pop! goes the weasel.

<3 Sidney Sheldon- Tell me your dreams.

What am I supposed to do when you dont want it anymore
There's nothing I can say now that it's nothing like before.

I've had it with almost everything in my life. Had it with trying to be nice all the time. There's no place for nice people here. I feel like I'm being nice at the expense of my self respect. There's this line yeah, this limit to how much one can compromise.

And you still get nothing back.

As much as it was dear to I, the past is what is gone
As much as I rather would, there's no sense
in holding on.

I'm just trying to make myself feel better. I know i'll always hold on to my past.

"What our contempts do often hurl from us; We wish it ours again."

I wish I could rewind to being 17 again.

My horoscope said that I should expect writer's block today.

So I'm not going to try and prove it wrong but just sleep instead.

:P

The magic is gone forever. I wonder if its me who killed it.

I still remember the rainy nights when you'd look up at the sky and kiss the rain. And then in a moment of euphoria you would grab me by my waist and waltz on the sidewalk. Your lovely black suit with your red tie and my white dress would get soaked and muddy and yet we'd laugh our hearts out when we splashed into the puddles.
You're right, this was a dream. One of the many dreams I was desperate to make true.

Now, sitting by the window I can't help but notice how bright the moonlight is. Like an invitation to walk out the door and dance in the middle of the street in slow motion. But the night doesn't seem to know that you are no longer here. Not with me, and not in my dreams. Why won't it stop staring at me like that?

I can't even begin about how I miss you. How I miss everything about you, your smile, your eyes, your warm hands. Your stern fatherly lecturing and you're reassuring look when I made a booboo.

Who killed the magic sweetheart?

As much as I hate to admit to myself, I guess you're not coming back now. I cant help but have a lil ounce of faith and wait on a miracle. I miss you, you knew me more than myself.
You were the only one. You were.

Can i have this last dance with you?

Its funny how I've never asked for anything of anyone and yet I've lost everything. I really haven't. I look back and I realize that there is nothing I wouldn't do for a stranger, let alone my own friends. But I guess I'm not even allowed to have an opinion. Opinions hurt bigtime. I can't really believe it. It was like this blazing, raging storm that wooshed across my life and everything was over.
Nothing's left. No space for understanding, forgiveness, and old times. Years of laughter and a night of storm.

How long have I been in this storm?
So overwhelmed by the ocean's shapeless form
Water's getting harder to tread
with these waves crashing over my head.

I have never called such important people all my life. I can't believe they trust me so much :P I mean seriously, today I called up the crown prince's manager, who's the next important person, after the prince himself.
I was supposed to talk to his secretary/ies, but 2 of them were on leave and the substitute didnt have a clue. So they transferred me to his personal line and I was talking to him :O. I was a nervous wreck honestly. I fumbled up my words and I forgot to even mention where I'm calling from. And instead of going, 'Crown prince's international scholarship program', I went like 'Crown prince's scholarship international. Then added a 'programme'. Sigh. He was like I cannot understand :P haha .
But he's such a sweet man. He laughed and he went, are you new? I was like yeah, I'm just an intern. I went on with the invitation, without any further mistakes, thank god.

I love it though, I love calling up people, specially when they have so much power. Its fun. I know you'll probably be like, how sad is she but lemme tell you i have never worked before all my life. I have never been in an office, i didn't know what a fax machine looks like. So its all really new and exciting for me :P [don't mock my moment]

There's going to be a graduation ceremony tomorrow, where the prince is gonna b e there himself. I dont know if i'll be allowed to attend it :P but i sure hope so. Ahh okay enough of blabberyness i'll just get back to erm..dont know, bubye :D

Sooo finally it's my first day at work. Even though i thought i'd be doing something more interesting, I'm stuck here doing labels for files. But yeah, Mr. Ronald, the really sweet old American dude, the man i'm working under, has promised to help me assist him in handling public events and work on their yearly magazine as sub editor! yayy me.

Every hour there are students coming in. Today is supposedly a 'visit day' where students come to meet the people who changed their lives.
Erm let me start from the beginning.

Crown Prince's Scholarship program, its really amazing. The Crown Prince of Bahrain Sh Salman, he's built this fund sort of thing, and this programme, it selects 10 students (lets call them scholars since the minimum required cgpa is 97%). They let these students choose their university, in the UK, USA or France. They provide them with the funds, allowances, accomodation, and continuous support.
If only I was that smart :( I'd always wanted to attend Yale or Princeton. They sound so classyyy :P

So yeah, the students who have graduated, they keep coming in here on the visit days to meet Mr Ron and Kathleen and Asmat ..sigh, I wish I wasn't just an intern.

Its just 10:15 :( I came in at 8 30 and finished all the file labelling stuff, and 'm bored while these people chat over coffee with those smartpants. :@ 4 hours to go..sigh.

वाह ब्लॉगर हिन्दी में। क्या बात है। आई ऍम लोविन इत्।

चलो जो भी हो। मुझे यह कहना था कि अभी ज़िन्दगी जिस मोड़ पर है, वहां से निकलने का कोई रास्ता नही दिखाई देता।
मैंने कभी सपने में नही सोचा था कि जिस इंसान को मैंने इतना प्यार किया, वोह ऐसा करेगा मेरे साथ।शायद उसकी भी गलती नही पर क्या इसका मतलब यह हुआ कि मेरी कोई एहमियत नही? क्या मैं कुछ नही लगती?
ऊपर से यह दानिश। पता नही इसको भी क्या होगया।
सभी जैसे अजनबी होगए हैं मेरे लिए। मैं जाऊं तो भी कहाँ? कहाँ जाकर मुह मारून? किसको अपनी बोरिंग कहानी सुनाऊं?
मुझे अब इधर नही रहना। कहीं दूर जाकर सबकुछ और सबको भुलाना है।
वाट एवर।