Feels nice to be back on my personal space. Wonder why  I quit blogging anyway. Till date, it has been the only effective remedy, a sort of happy place to my nonsensical whirlwind of a life.

So much has happened. So much to say, so much to do. Not blogging had made me feel claustrophobic. It's like I can finally breathe. What would I ever do without my words?

Its 3:22 am. I had a really bad dream. Actually, I really can't say if it's bad. It was.. strange.

So, I'm walking down the street with a cup of Starbucks coffee in one hand and a German Shepherd tagging along on my other. And it's weird because dogs bigger than the size of a tabby cat, freak me out.

Passers-by are staring at me for reasons I can't understand, just when the most adorable Chinese kid tugs on his mum's skirt and points over at me and says "Ma, why does she have blood on her shirt?" 

The mother walks up to me and gives me a hug. "It'll all be alright", she says and walks off. And I'm standing there, all alone in the middle of the street. The dog has wandered off but I still have my coffee and it tastes damn good.

I really don't know what to make of this. What does the blood even mean. And a huge dog? It's like it was guarding me from something. Like it just saved my life, did its job and trotted off. Very strange.

Anyway. Now that I've come back to this space , I finally feel better. I'm never going away.

"Joy can take care of itself, but to get the full value of grief you must have somebody to divide it with."
In this case, it's something, and it's you. Thank you, blog.

I think you can love a person too much. You put someone up on a pedestal, and all of a sudden, from that perspective, you notice what's wrong - a hair out of place, a run in a stocking, a broken bone. You spend all your time and energy making it right, and all the while, you are falling apart yourself. You don't even realize what you look like, how far you've deteriorated, because you only have eyes for someone else.

- Handle with Care, By Jodi Picoult 

2:45 am. Nobody that I love is online. Sipping on glucose, and waiting for Sehri. Perfect time for an update.

I love how the sky looks at this time. And how the only sounds I can hear are the clunks of my ceiling fan, the cars on the highway and the occasional cat purring. Beautiful.

The past few days have been nothing less than a turmoil. But right now? I can't feel a thing. It's as if my Intelligious Majoras has gone off to hibernate. Feels lovely to block out, and forget for a while.

I hate decisions. Mostly because I suck at them. Why can't somebody hand me a manual? If only I knew all the answers. Heh. 

Anyboo, life's okay for now. With the last few days of Ramzan left and Eid coming up, I can't help but flash you a smile with all the 28 teeth that I have. I had a haircut, I shopped quite a lot, and I just spoke to 3 of my best friends for more than 2 hours. Sigh. I never thought I'd hear myself say this, but I miss college.

And I know I said I hate making decisions. But, you gotta do what you gotta do.
Maybe it's true what they say, that you have to look at life through the windshield, and not the rear-view mirror.

Time for sehri =D. Be nice, love more, hate less. Oh Dee =P